laffinkid's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- \"let's go, drive til, morning comes. And watch the sunrise, and fill our souls up.\" "crazy, how it, feels tonight. crazy, how you...make it all all right. crush me..with the..things you do. And I'll do for you, anything too." These songs. make me so happy and relaxed. but today, was so fucked. what a harsh interjection of vocabulary. my apologies. to myself. not a bad day. starting out so well. so nicely with a nice scent from a nice shower. beautiful memories floating gracefully. nearly late. skating by. as usual. didn't care..still don't. all downhill from there. shrinking again. I hate it there now. ever so much. making me feel so small. everyone. I asked my mom, tonight, if next year I could be home schooled. or go to amphi. we laughed. haha. joke time. I wanted to fall back on that laughter. to soften the request. but she knows I'm serious. though I feel she won't take my offer seriously..until it's a desperate need. I always just..want to leave. to walk right out the gate and go home and learn everything by myself. alas. i doubt I ever will..... work...so stupid. libby left. daniel and i working our asses off. still to get out of there at 8:30. libby stopped smoking weed. libby got taxes deducted from her paycheck. libby got into a tiny car accident. cryin in the bathroom. so she left. didn't do any work while there..and has the balls to leave. at 7. when her ride showed up. am i the only one not afraid of her? wtf? to say.."hey libby..what the hell are you thinking?" she's freaking out, because she hadn't smoked. can't. for her b/f. a life where one cannot have fun or even function without the assistence of a mind altering drug, is a sad, sad life. but it's her skinny sickly little body. i guess she can do what she wants with it. and I just, simply, don't even care. Feeling the memories rushing back again. And there's nothing better. Memories of home. And memories of him. again..I wish you could feel this light, creeping up and filling my heart. eyes slowly closing between sentences. scenes of our secret. scenes of our lovey time. [(-: nothing compares :-)]
10:35 p.m. - 2003-05-05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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