laffinkid's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- arching back i wasn't expecting this. attractive talented boy comes along and says do you want a relationship and what are you down for, but i feel something for someone else. i wanted it and now it's too late. i could. but won't. or maybe. just a little. but can't. today i was sitting on emily's couch after reading andrews sharp stinging naively insulting words, and she asked about travis, and noah. and i said i don't care what you do with travis we are friends and at one time i wished it were more but that time is no longer. And then i say i care about and love noah, but it's so hard for me to let myself feel it and let myself fall because he's leaving and i don't know what to do. all i know is that i have these feelings. and then i burst into tears. on emily's couch. face squinched and everything. they seared down my made up cheeks. pushing my eyeler to the ridges of my lids. steaming and fogging my black rimmed glasses. i burst. i start a new job friday. if i stay there i need to buy some nicer clothes. i love it when he attack hugs me. 10:50 p.m. - 2004-05-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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