laffinkid's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- like the deserts miss the rain the good thing about live journal and the friends i have there, and subsequently also have outside of school, is i think i have become a funnier person over all. unfortunately only a select few dry cold hearted bastards actually get the type of funny i have become. along those who like anal. but to me, those two are synonymous. but the people i am pretty much around and talk to all the time of my friends are included in the above categories. so it works out, really. today i was talking to my mom about ava. trying to explain what it was really like. not matter what we're always us. and i started crying like a wittle baby. i have just been a tear machine lately. "and i cry. omigod do i cry. i cry all the time. in this institution. and i pray. omigod do i pray. i pray every single day. for a revolution." -- "when i return home i hope to hold you in my arms for at least three days" this is what he writes to me. and it makes me happy. but at the same time sad. -- so i went back and read some things. and i rememered why i'm through. and now it's better. so now i have to decide if i mean it when i say it to someone else. i told my mom today that i had had feelings for chris but that he didn't know. which to the best of my knowlege he didn't. and that if i saw him, i don't know if i could control myself. i'm thinking that that will probably backfire. but we'll just have to wait and see. these things usually do though. i told he it's all or nothing. and that i don't think i'll ever get married on the premise. but will more than likely give her grandchildren. which i know is all she wants anyways so she can spoil them absolutely rotten. sitting for hours on end reading about economic makes me want to eat a live rattlesnake. and now i'm just missing you more than ever but i don't have the gas or the gas money to come to your doorstep and lay on your bed. i wish i could fly. but i'll just have to fly to you in my dreams. i cried about you today. because i felt all the things in the past years all at once and it was like a rushing waterfall of pure intensity and love. who needs a boy when you have a fish? (except for all intensive sexual purposes, and the occasional pro-creation) 12:02 a.m. - 2004-06-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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