laffinkid's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why Not? blink. blink. blink. the cursor. taunting me. challenging me to move it. the black dots of my eyes registering this all too familiar sight, but my reflexes no longer knowing the best way to respond. words do not come as easily as they once did. pain is more easily hidden than it once was. the river of imagination and creativity that quenched every facet of my self, my personality, replaced by an undrinkable salty ocean. Shallow and clear in parts, unfathomably deep in others. Generally approachable. The new details of an old soul. I am pulled by my want for experiences, and the opportunities of a young woman that are rare and alluring. Opportunities to travel, and to live in new places. I am a slave to my family ties. Leaving breaks my heart, but staying suffocates my spirit. On a day when my belly is big and my college is done, there will be a house waiting in Tucson for my own family to grow in. Until that day, I am content with the philosophy: "Why not?" And that's what I am going to continue to live by until further notice. My lion lifts my spirits from time to time. Purring with love. Roaring with laughter. His hard work fills my heart with admiration. His distance fills my heart with aching. So I am going to the coast where I can be with the sea and keep myself warm, until that lion of mine returns to his kingdom. And hopefully that fiery ram and I can co-exist peacefully, without any butting or stinging. Why Not? 12:19 a.m. - 2006-06-10 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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