laffinkid's Diaryland Diary

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ripping at the $eam

My eyes are shutting.

But before I go:

Money is consuming me, and what a waste of a thought it is. What a waste of a day, and a life time. Pretending like after these financial issues are resolved there will never be any more, ever again. What a fool I am to hope for that. Just a fool.

And we promised we would never let money tear us apart. But here I am, with a growing monster of hatred. Hatred for my shame, and dependence, and inability to act freely. I feel like a child, asking for permission to do this or that with the reimbursement from the government's royal fuck up.

Please daddy pleease can I get an ice cream cone? Or pay my car loan a few months ahead? Plleeease?

A child within my own womanly body. We said we would never let money tear us apart.

But I can feel us ripping at the seams.


11:29 p.m. - 2006-08-15

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