laffinkid's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- pull the trigger It's got to stop. The: pain, numb, hate, love, apathy, passion, lies and truths. lately everything is shit. everything turns to complete shit. and I don't give a fuck about anything that has to do with spending time with family or pretending like I give a fuck. I'm tired of being walked on. I'm tired of being selfish, also. I don't want to be alone. What have a I done to my life? I've ruined it. completely. But if I can sweep up the peices and the lies, and put them in the trash..does that make them go away? What happens when the past comes back? I was so sure. I was so sure that it was perfect. That it was so right. That it was so pure. Now I'm so sure that this isn't what I wanted, isn't what I signed up for, and isn't where I saw myself at 20. is NOT where I saw myself ever. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to let him go. I don't want to tell him that there are days that I hate him with more venom than I have hated anyone with. Or that there are times that I love him so much I can't think about it too long because it hurts. I don't to deal with this any more. 1:40 p.m. - 2006-11-21 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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