laffinkid's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- gone I have to go. I have to go. I have to go.
My hands are tied. My heart is tied. Without a plane ticket and a plan this will never last. My lips will start to search for the nearest replacement and I'll keep my eyes closed pretending it's him but it isn't. And it breaks me down and down and down until all I have left is the anger for myself and for him. I have to go. Where nobody looks like me and life is confusing for a while. But where I am happy with my lover, because life is too short to sit around thinking that everything I want is passing me by. When really, everything I want is slipping through my fingers. Happiness is slipping through my fingers, and the cracks of my bitterness. A bitterness that will only grow and grow if this circumstance persists. I will probably be gone before the end of January. College will be here when I get back. Jobs will be here when I get back. New friends will be here when I get back. But this love....this love. This love I will never find again. Not in an attractive tattooed thai boy. Not in a head giving laughy boston boy. Not even in the one that used to be the sunshine of my day. The one that's in the army now...or even the beautiful perfect musician. I will never find this love again in anyone, anywhere. And so..I must do what I have to do to help it survive because everything else that I'm longing for will surely endure a few years without me. 11:30 p.m. - 2006-12-28 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||